Good morning, Reader

When I realized that I’m entire personality was almost entirely made up of old programming/beliefs or a response to ADHD/CPTSD, I decided to make a pact with myself:

Do one thing a day that you’ve been avoiding.

Something. Every damn say. (Cuz I refuse to defined by some g*ddamn alphabet diagnosis.)

Yesterday I was in a funnnnnk. I’ve been working since I was 15 (I’m going to be 34 in June), so NOT working is triggering AF. It’s forcing me to look at a whole bunch of sh*t I’ve “never had the time to”. And what I’ve found is not what I thought I’d see.

✨I’m actually mad as hell. The rage… is real. And I’m not totally sure what to do about that.

✨What I thought success WAS and what it actually IS for me are two very different things.

✨Cultivating safety in my body is actually very scary.

… the list goes on and on.

So in all of that, yesterday I decided I was going to do something I’ve been avoiding for way too long: sign up for the gym.

I know it will help with the ADHD symptoms, my stamina in BJJ, and overall will just keep me more balanced. And for the love of GODDD, it would be nice to walk up a flight of steps and not be winded (LOL!).

You wanna hang out? Cool - I’ll meet you at the gym and we can walk the treadmill and chat.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. And I’ve made it too far to not keep going.

Life is the long game. You can’t sprint through it but you will loose steam and burn out half way through. I mean.. you can, but I Iearned the hard way on that one.

It’s okay to slow down… and I’m learning that lesson, too. There’s a lot you can learn there when you stop running from yourself.

Your turn: What’s one small thing you’ve been avoiding that you could do today?
Reply back, message me, or just go do it quietly for yourself. One step a day still moves you forward.

X,
​Jess​