The quiet build of resentment
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Resentment doesn’t usually show up all at once. It builds slowly. It looks like saying yes when you don’t want to. Except later doesn’t come... so it compounds on itself. A comment here. A moment there. A boundary you didn’t hold. And eventually, you start to feel it. Not always as anger, but sometimes it’s distance. Irritation. That tight feeling in your chest when someone asks you for something and you already feel like you’ve given too much. The challenging part for me is by the time resentment shows up, it can feel SO confusing... because I care. And I don’t want to be the necessarily be the person who’s bitter or short. But resentment is usually a sign that something has been going unspoken or unhonored for a while. It’s your system’s way of saying, “Hey… something here isn’t working.” And ignoring it doesn’t make you kinder. It just makes the feeling stronger, Reader. This is where people either explode… or continue to shrink. And neither one actually solves the problem. What does help? Getting honest about where you’ve been over-giving. Where you’ve been saying yes out of habit, not desire. Where you’ve been expecting someone to read your mind instead of communicating clearly. It's not easy work, but it’s honest work. And it’s what allows you to stay connected to people without losing yourself in the process. If you’ve been feeling that quiet build lately, it’s worth paying attention to. Not to judge it or push it away. Just listen to what it’s trying to show you. If you've been feeling the pull to unpack some of this, I want to invite you into the next round of "Victim to Villain", my three part series of survival mode to to self-led power. We begin May 17th at Tea & Tarot in Clinton, CT. (If you are interested in attending virtually, let me know so we can make this happen!) This Series is for You If: ✔️ You always feel like you’re carrying too much but don’t know how to put it down. ✔️ You struggle with boundaries, saying no, or standing in your own truth. ✔️ You feel the exhaustion of constantly pushing through and are ready to tune in instead. ✔️ You know there’s more for you, but you need a push to claim it. ✔️ You're looking for other women to go this journey with.
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Jess Leone
You can spot the pattern, name the trigger, & explain exactly what needs to change. And still… you find yourself riiiight back in it. Am I right? 👀 Happy Saturday, I am here to wake you up & call you out (lovingly, of course)!! 🫶 Because I know you don’t struggle with knowing what to do. They struggle is actually living it, especially when you’ve been taught to prioritize being liked, needed, or “good” over being real. So we start there. We start with the gap between awareness and action....
image: janusz_furrer There’s a version of you that people rely on. The one who keeps the peace.Who doesn’t make things harder than they need to be.Who knows how to read the room and adjust accordingly. And for a long time, that version of you probably felt like something to be proud of....until it didn’t. You probably started noticing how tired you feel after being around people. Or often you say yes when you mean no. How quickly you override your own needs just to keep the peace. And...
There are seasons in life where things feel steady, and some where everything feels like it’s moving at once... A relationship changes.Your work doesn’t feel the same.You’re questioning things you used to feel sure about. Sometimes it’s obvious, but other times, it’s harder to name. You just wake up one day and think, “I don’t think this fits me anymore.” Those moments can feel unsettling. This moment came to me after I gave my TEDx talk in February, and it actually shook me to my core....